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Insightful Leader."
Responding to
Objectionable
Behavior in Meetings
Question
I'm a new Product
Marketing Manager in
a Seattle medical
device company. I've
noticed in meetings
that there are a lot
of people with
"sharp elbows." In
other words, it is
not uncommon for
meeting attendees to
make derogatory
remarks to each
other. I have yet to
determine if this is
an organization-wide
cultural norm, but I
find it off- putting
and
counterproductive.
My turn as a
target will
inevitably come and
I want to be
prepared as to how
to respond. I have
no intention of
allowing myself to
be a doormat.
The Coach Answers .
. .
The first few
months of navigating
organization waters
are very critical to
long-term success.
You are wise to
initially assess the
degree to which this
type of behavior is
company-wide or
possibly specific to
the individuals in
your meeting. Even
if this behavior is
the norm, you may
still choose to
confront the
offending parties.
If and when you are
the target of rude
comments or
put-downs, you have
every right to speak
up and ask the
individual to
refrain from
addressing you that
way. This, of course
is easier to do when
the behavior is an
aberration and not
the norm.
As a new
employee, it is
important to
consider the
following factors,
in addition to
culture, when
choosing to respond
to objectionable
behavior:
-
The seriousness
of the comment.
-
The intention of
the person
making the
comment.
-
The power or
status of the
individual.
-
Is the comment
directed at you
or at another
person?
-
As a new
employee, are
you being tested
as a rite of
passage or to
determine your
fortitude?
-
What is the
overall upside
and downside of
responding to
the offending
person?
There are some
comments that
require an immediate
response due to the
level of
impropriety. On the
other hand, comments
made in jest or in a
lighthearted manner
may be best ignored.
If the person making
the comment is your
boss or someone with
a lot of
organizational
power, you probably
want to speak to
them in private. I
would be careful of
being the judge of
political
correctness when
comments are
addressed to another
individual. There
will be times,
however, when the
target of
inappropriate
behavior is not in a
strong position to
defend him or
herself due to a
lack of status or
power. In these
cases, depending on
the nature of the
comment, you may
decide to intervene.
As much as I
would like to give
you a concrete
answer regarding
these types of
incidents, they
generally require a
fair amount of
discretion. When you
are in a leadership
position, it is
easier to set the
standard of
professional
behavior and to hold
people accountable
to that standard.
When new teams are
being formed, it is
not uncommon for any
team member to
suggest a set of
meeting guidelines
for behavior
including “criticize
ideas, not
individuals.”
I applaud your
desire to work in an
environment that is
professional and
considerate of all
people.
Unfortunately, even
in these enlightened
times, not every
organization lives
up to a high
standard of
behavior. There are
vast differences in
corporate cultures.
Hopefully, you will
discover that your
recent experience is
the exception rather
than the rule for
your organization.
